i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
