No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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