Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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