The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
