There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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