I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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