u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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