I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize