Why does Corona taste like a burp?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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