which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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