had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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