I feel like I'm in dance class right now
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
