you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
third nipple confirmed
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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