if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
