So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just puked most of my soul out..
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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