You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
