Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
