Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
