I didn't shave. On purpose
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
