hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
