she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
