I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
