First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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