I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
