i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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