My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
