Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
