YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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