I want to make a zoo with you.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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