dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
