She's JV to your varsity
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
