i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
