it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
