What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
