sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
