Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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