Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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