you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
