My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
