im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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