i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize