The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
