I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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