even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
