So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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