Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
