I can tuck mytits in my pants
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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