U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
