would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Randomize
