I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
