Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
