you win again, gameday.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
