Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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