question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
where are my eyebrows?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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