Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
