Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
