DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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