She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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