Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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