Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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