I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
