do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
