so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
