your thong is hanging out like whoa
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You pole danced in your parka.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
