i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
