HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
