I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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