just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
