omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
