How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
A+ Viking dick
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